Category: Geen categorie


More stuff

Filed Under: Geen categorie by andre — 2 Comments
16 May 2010

This is a continuation about my post yesterday.

You know… in January 2008, I was surprised that
I felt relatively good after all this stuff with Nikolái.
In reality…. I am only starting to realise how much
impact this all had. Even today, fucking two and a
half years later….

Just some facts:

  • On my computer in Beek, there are some folders with his… I just can’t delete them. I should, but I can’t.
  • I still have all the letters he wrote to me. They are in the box where I keep my diary too.
  • Once in a while, I even google his nickname, trying to find him
  • The nickname I use on some sites nowadays…. ‘GromBeestje’ exsists because of him. I should get rid of it, and it’s emoticon in my msn. Friends who have that thing, please delete it! thx!
  • Just look at my Last.FM stats… See the estonian music…. also because of him, but I must admit, it sounds good. Maybe that can stay. Also torchwood and doctor who. great brittish sci-fi series. But he recommended them. 
But that’s not all… I also wanted to talk about what he did to me… I know… I have been blogged about this before, but I don’t think I did it in so much detail then I am about to do.
December 2007, that’s when we met. He left me a message on my Last.FM Shoutbox. That is how everything started…. Soon, he was my boyfriend… he didn’t live very far away, but he said he didn’t want to meet in real life yet. It was a wonderful week… but then… On the first of January 2008, He dumped me on fucking new years day!!!! My heart was broken. But, that wasn’t the end. Not even near the end! A few hours later, he sent a text message, he wanted me back, asking me to forgive him. I was happy again… but this… happened many times…. he dumped me many times, to ask me back couple of hours later. Do you have any idea what that does to someone like me? My heart was broken a million times, but I NEEDED him to be happy, some time after time, I forgave him, until I was a mess, he broke my mind, and I would do anything for him. Anything, including…something I don’t even dare writing in my blog, something that’s even too insane for insane me.  And then he just said… that everyone has been a lie… that he was really a she…. and her last words were “Be happy we never met, I would have killed you!” 
There was this time, I got really paranoid and started researching him on the internet, and found many inconsistencies in what he told me. I had it all worked out that he was lying, but when I confronted him with it, just a few words from him were enough to make me believe his lies again. 
Now, two and a half years later… I see… I am still suffering because of that person.
Also, what does this tell about myself… it’s too easy for someone I love to break me, and if I really love someone, no matter what, even if I know it’s the stupidest thing I ever did, I am not giving up the person I love. See how that turned out last time I did so?
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A personal blogpost

Filed Under: Geen categorie by andre — Leave a comment
15 May 2010

A personal blogpost from me this time.
As you know, I was in Sweden doing my
internship from September 2008 till January 2009.
But did you ever realise why I went to Sweden
for my internship? I wanted to be far away from
home, to look for freedom. That’s why I decided
for a foreign internship. The country, Sweden,
was because my teacher had contacts in Sweden.
I was thinking about Norway first, and go bother
Lars while I was there :P

Yeah, my time in Sweden was nice, and I would
have liked to be able to stay a little longer. But
yeah, the search for my freedom…. well…

Due some events that happened a few months
before I went to Sweden, January 2008, I
suppose it didn’t work out as well as I wanted.
People who have been following my blog the
past years…. (and, sadly, I think only one
or two people have been following by blog for that
long… were did all my so-called friends go?)
know who I am talking about. Just at
the time when I was starting to trust people
again, the person, who was the reason I started
trusting people again stabbed me in the back.
Thanks you very much Nikolái. That wasn’t even
‘his’ real name, in fact, he was a she. Hadn’t I
been through enough shit already????

This whole Nikolái story made me realise how
vulnerable I was… and I lost my faith…

After I graduated in february 2009,
I worked at a software company
for a while. That was really a horrible time, that
I tell you. The thought about going to university,
february of this year was the only thing that kept
me going.

So, now, here I am, at university. I moved to
Eindhoven, and I am living and studying here
for the past months. Why am I here? Most
people go to university to study, to get
their degree. For me, it’s more of a personal
matter. First of all…. it was an excuse to move
out, to live at my own place…. a search for
freedom again. And now I live here, I am looking
for myself. To find who I really am, and not the
person I was made to be. Yes, there has been
a lot of dark stuff in my past, but also things
that gave me strength. That’s also something
I am hoping to find again.

My life has been a long and rough path, but
I am still here. Going on with my life, even
though I don’t know where I am going. My
life nowadays, it’s going up and down.

It’s time to try to espace from my own
prison. To trust people again. There is
someone helping me doing so. You know
who you are ;)  and I do trust you. I know
you won’t let me down, because I know
you know what it means to me.

Thank you for reading this long post
till the end. *hugs* André

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Stats….

Filed Under: Geen categorie by andre — 1 Comment
11 May 2010

Looking at my blogs visitor stats…

It seems, the most popular subject is ‘italian power outlets’…

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Vegetarians, organic food…

Filed Under: Geen categorie by andre — Leave a comment
8 May 2010

Just a few notes, after posting the article.

The ‘western diet’ contains more meat then the
optimal amount for a good health. What I am
trying to say, you don’t have to eat meat every
day.
Also, I suggest eating organic food. But even
that might not always be organic. As, I think
it was about half a year ago, pesticides have
been found in organic raspberries in Sweden.
So… can you still believe it when something
is labeled organic? Still… it might be a good idea.
Back to the topic of vegetarians: I can think about
other reasons to be vegetarian, or at least, almost
vegetarian, other then feeling sorry for the
animals. Can you?
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Vegetarians?

Filed Under: Geen categorie by andre — 2 Comments
6 May 2010

The other day, I bought a lettuce. Ya know, sush a thing

with a clod of earth. It’s roots still attached to it and so.
So, when I was cooking, I also prepared my lettuce.
Then I realised, “This thing is still alive, and I am
about to eat it!”
If vegetarians don’t want to eat meat because they
feel sorry for the animals, then, my question is,
“Why is it okay to eat plants?” Is it because plants
don’t scream when you kill them?
I have been asking this question to a couple of
people in the past weeks. One of the answers I got
is “Plants don’t have nerves, so they don’t feel pain.”
I wonder, is this true? I mean, is it really true plants
don’t feel pain? From the time I still watched TV,
I remember seeing some experiment with electrodes
attached to a tree. And when they hit the tree with
an axe, they got a reading on their measurement
devices. So, I beleive plants can feel pain.
So, what’s really the difference between eating
animals and eating plants. They are both living
beings! Why would animals have more rights
then plants? Because plants are so different
from ourselves? Because they look passive?
A plant, it can’t run, it can’t resist. So, why
would that be okay, when eating animals is not?
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30 april

Filed Under: Geen categorie by andre — 1 Comment
4 May 2010

Sooo…. I have a good working RSS importer on facebook now.

Sooo…. I put a message on facebook
” 30 april, what’ s up with that date ? “
and waited for replies. I was expecting three answers.
For Dutch people, it’s “Koninginnedag” (Queensday).
It’s the national day of the Netherlands. It’s the
Queen’s Mother’s Birthday.
A few days before 30 april. I was talking to Anna,
who lives in Sweden, on Facebook. She mentioned,
in Sweden, 30 april is Valborgsmässoafton.
That are two events on this date. But noone replied
that to my Facebook question. There was an other
answer I was expecting, and that’s the answer I
received on Facebook: Beltane.
(Spelling variations may exist, but this is the spelling
I found in my (dutch) books… but the english wikipedia
article also uses this spelling, so I use this spelling)
In the meantime, I also asked that question in the
BlaatSchaap Chatroom. Well… more or less… I posted
the link to facebook, and I was talking about it in the
chatroom. So, after I mentioned Koninginnedag and
Valborgsmässoafton, I mentioned Beltane.
Pieter replied like “Isn’t that like that Swedish thing?”
Well… that exactly was exactly what I was looking for.
That question on facebook, was, more or less, a preparation
for this blogpost. Allthough, most of you people didn’t
provide answers to my question.
Sooo…. what have we got? Beltane and Valborgsmässoafton:
What’s their connection? I think this is a good time to stop
typing and wait for some people to give their thoughts about
the connection.
And people, I do expect comments on this one ;)
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Facebook

Filed Under: Geen categorie by andre — Leave a comment
4 May 2010

This is a test!

I am testing RSS Graffiti on Facebook.
I think it will work a lot better then the Social RSS app I used before
to import RSS feeds. Social RSS has a huge lag, (a week or so)
and it seems, I can set RSS Graffiti to check for updates every 30 minutes.
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Huisarts

Filed Under: Geen categorie by andre — 4 Comments
29 April 2010

Ik woon nu enkele maanden in Eindhoven, en ik

realiseerde me dat ik nog niet bij een huisarts
sta ingeschreven. Dus ik dacht van ik ga dat maar
eens even regelen. Dichtsbijzijnde huisarts, Prinsejagt,
neemt momenteel geen patienten aan, de huisartenpraktijk
Woensel ook niet, Dus, dan is de Parade de huisarts het
dichtste in de buurt, en volgens google maps is dat
drie kwartier lopen. Dus niet even om te voet heen
te gaan.
Maar goed, beter iets dan niets, zeg ik maar, ik ben
toch niet van plan om ziek te worden of zo, maar ja
je kunt het maar beter geregeld hebben,
en in juni neemt Prinsejagt weer patienten aan, en
dan schrijf ik me om, dat is maar 10 minuten lopen,
das te doen, te voet :P
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Native IPv6 Internet

Filed Under: Geen categorie by andre — Leave a comment
19 April 2010

So, today, I picked up my new modem at 4launch.

They opened their shop at 3 PM, and so I arrived
at the closest busstop just before 3 and walked
to the shop. Soooo…. I got my modem! yaaay!
Back home, I flashed the beta IPv6 firmware,
entered my account info, and it connected.
Native IPv6 seemed to work, on the first look.
But, looking closer, it turned out that my DSL
connection was only running at 2 Mbit, while it
is supposed to be 4 Mbit. My line speed was
only half what it was supposed to be.
Then, I tried to register my DECT phone, since
the Fritz!Box 7270 also supports DECT. For
some reason, it doesn’ t want to connect to
my Fritz!Box…
But, that’s not all… after a while… my modem
rebooted itself… and not only once, it kept
rebooting randomly.
So, no native IPv6 for me yet.
Let’s hope a firmware upgrade solves these
problems…
For now, back on my old modem and my old IPv6 tunnel.
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Remote Dreambox

Filed Under: Geen categorie by andre — 3 Comments
13 April 2010

So, a little story about my DreamBox. As you might know,

I recently moved to Eindhoven. My DreamBox DM-7000S
still sits in Beek, at my uncle and aunt’s place. This linux based
sattelite receiver contains a hard disk and ethernet port ;) so,
it’s connected to the internet. It’s running the PLi image nowadays.
( http://www.pli-images.org/ ) I have used different images in the
past, but nowadays, it runs Pli. The Pli software also includes a
chttpd web server and a dropbear ssh server.
I have set up some port forwardings so I can access my box over
the internet ;)
So, on saturday, Doctor Who is aired on the BBC. I have programmed
the dreambox to record this. So, all I have to do is download it, right?
Well.. apearently not. The chttpd just went 404- File not found. The
f*cking file is there!!!! But after some trials, it turned out the chttpd
cannot serve large files. So, I have to split the files.
Remember, this is an embedded linux machine with busybox and so,
and it seems, the split command is not supported. So, I am splitting
the files using dd ;)
Splitting it into files, 1 GB is size:
dd if=Doctor_Who_-_10_04_10.ts of=1.ts count=1000 bs=1M
dd if=Doctor_Who_-_10_04_10.ts of=2.ts count=1000 bs=1M skip=1000
dd if=Doctor_Who_-_10_04_10.ts of=3.ts count=1000 bs=1M skip=2000
Well…. I hope it works. Lol. I am late. Broadcast was saturday. I started trying to download it last night, but I needed my sleep, so I am only downloading it now to my laptop here in Eindhoven.
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