A personal blogpost from me this time.
As you know, I was in Sweden doing my
internship from September 2008 till January 2009.
But did you ever realise why I went to Sweden
for my internship? I wanted to be far away from
home, to look for freedom. That’s why I decided
for a foreign internship. The country, Sweden,
was because my teacher had contacts in Sweden.
I was thinking about Norway first, and go bother
Lars while I was there :P

Yeah, my time in Sweden was nice, and I would
have liked to be able to stay a little longer. But
yeah, the search for my freedom…. well…

Due some events that happened a few months
before I went to Sweden, January 2008, I
suppose it didn’t work out as well as I wanted.
People who have been following my blog the
past years…. (and, sadly, I think only one
or two people have been following by blog for that
long… were did all my so-called friends go?)
know who I am talking about. Just at
the time when I was starting to trust people
again, the person, who was the reason I started
trusting people again stabbed me in the back.
Thanks you very much Nikolái. That wasn’t even
‘his’ real name, in fact, he was a she. Hadn’t I
been through enough shit already????

This whole Nikolái story made me realise how
vulnerable I was… and I lost my faith…

After I graduated in february 2009,
I worked at a software company
for a while. That was really a horrible time, that
I tell you. The thought about going to university,
february of this year was the only thing that kept
me going.

So, now, here I am, at university. I moved to
Eindhoven, and I am living and studying here
for the past months. Why am I here? Most
people go to university to study, to get
their degree. For me, it’s more of a personal
matter. First of all…. it was an excuse to move
out, to live at my own place…. a search for
freedom again. And now I live here, I am looking
for myself. To find who I really am, and not the
person I was made to be. Yes, there has been
a lot of dark stuff in my past, but also things
that gave me strength. That’s also something
I am hoping to find again.

My life has been a long and rough path, but
I am still here. Going on with my life, even
though I don’t know where I am going. My
life nowadays, it’s going up and down.

It’s time to try to espace from my own
prison. To trust people again. There is
someone helping me doing so. You know
who you are ;)  and I do trust you. I know
you won’t let me down, because I know
you know what it means to me.

Thank you for reading this long post
till the end. *hugs* André

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