Yeah, I’m watching Doctor Who again. I’m addicted
to it. I’ve downloaded the episoded, but well.. I really
love the Brittish accent. And just the series… the Docter….
so cool… so good. And I guess… I’ve got Nuky ( Lars )
addicted too. It’s so good :P Gehehe
Oh well… next summer I might go to Sweden for my
work placement / traineeship. ( dutch : “stage” )
Mensen mensen, lang niet geüpdate in het
Nederlands. Ik zit dus de laatste tijd wat
meer in het engels te blaten, nietwaar?
Och jah… en de laatste tijd helemaal aan
Doctor Who en Torchwood verslaafd.
Britse series he… gedownload. Dat accent,
dat heeft wel iets. Maar het zijn gewoon
goede series.
Daarnaast, heb ik nu een hositng pakket
bij servage.net en ga daar weer een
nieuwe site voor blaatschaap op zetten.
Het verhuizen van de blaatschaap site
van Nuky’s server (bij haisoft.net) naar
mijn nieuwe server (bij servage.net) ging
niet helemaal zonder problemen. Andere
server instellinge, verschillende software
versies (php, mysql) leverden wat probleempjes
op. Mja… ik ga misschien zelf wat php’en… mja
reken er maar niet op… ik zit vol met plannen
maar voer ze nooit uit.
Iets wat ik waarschijnlijk wel ga doen, is stage
lopen in Zweden. Zou eigenlijk nog liever naar
Noorwegen gaan, want daat woont Nuky ( Lars )
Mja… een leraar van me had dus contacten met
bedrijven in Zweden en Finland. Dus daar heb ik
eens wat tegen gesproken, en die zou eens gaan
rondvragen voor mij of er daar nog stage plekken
beschikbaar zijn. Want na de zomer wil ik er
tussen uit, naar het noorden, moet stage lopen,
en dan zeg ik, van dan ga ik er lekker tussen uit,
lekker naar het buitenland. :P Maar goed, nu
ga ik nog lekker even Doctor Who kijken :P
Heya people. I’m just leaving a message on my blog,
to inform you I’ve just ordered a webhosting package
at http://www.servage.net/
Meh… what am I doing at school? The match teacher didn’t
show up, and math was supposed to be my only class today.
So…. I could have stayed at home today. Fontys is great *sarcasm*
Doctor Who… yeah… that’s right… I just started
watching it recently, but now I guess I’m an addict.
Watched like four episodes today, finished the first
season. I really have to love bittorrent for making
this possible :P Oh Doctor Who, it’s so good. I
love these series ^^ Meh… I guess I’ve neglected
my math homework. I kinda have a test tomorrow,
like I explained in a previous post. I guess, I just
go to that class for Jaime and Ralph, I’ll just bluf
though that test, I guess, like I always do. Just
a little more bluf this time, but I’ll make it anyways.
And I’ll start watching the 2nd season of Doctor Who,
and the first season of Torchwood soo. Yeah…
that’s what I’ll do. It’s really addicting. Well.. and
I suppose there is still some anime to watch too.
Oh I just got another 500 GB External USB hard disk
today, just to store all the good files.
Well… sure the past months have been pretty
weird. And as a side-effect of the happenings
the past months, there has been a unplanned
“coming out”. So yeah… I guess… it’s no secret
anymore, me being gay. And please, stop the
gossips, kthx!
There are always weird things happening to me,
Will I ever have a “normal” life? Nah… I guess
now things are back to “normal” I’m just being
bored as hell.
Nikki…. Nikolái Skvortsov … Nikolajev Hämäläinen
That person is fake…. You could have read that all,
in an earlier post. I was thinking, it was over, the end.
But she… started to talk in my msn again… I said…
I can’t … not like that… my msn displaying “Piknikki says:”
all the time…. but there is no Nikki …. I can’t take that….
All events from the past days, also included, this girl
pretending to be Nikki, took Nikkis blogs offline.
This resulted in Karina being worries, and showing
up in the chatroom what was going on. I cannot lie
when someone asks me directly… and I am sorry
I was the one to tell Karina the truth, but I had to.
I just had to. The world deserves to know the truth.
There are too many lies in this world already.
So, I told Karina, she decided to confront “Nikki”
with the truth… and “Nikki” sent me a threadning
text message on my phone.
She is loosing control, over me, over her lies.
Threadning like that… is just a sign of weakness.
I hope this is the last thing we’ve heard from “Nikki”.
At least… for now… She needs help, professional help
from a shrink, this is not something we can solve ourselves.
And Karina, she’s always welcome in our chatroom.
Even through the subject we’ve been talking about
wasn’t exactly a happy one, I hope that we can talk
some more in the future about happies subjects.
Zo mensjes, zoals jullie misschien allemaal al
op mijn engels blogje hebben kunnen lezen,
bestaat er helemaal geen “Nikolái Skvortsov”,
en ook geen “Nikolajev Hämäläinen”, zoals
“hij” zich ook wel noemde. Maar werd deze
rol gespeeld door een meisje.
Nadat ze me de waarheid had verteld en zo,
had ze Nikki’s blogs offline gezet. Ditgeen
had tot gevolg dat “Nikki’s” vrienden zich
zorgen gingen maken, en zo kwam er
gisteravond een Karina de chatroom binnen
en die vroeg wat er aan de hand was.
Ik heb al eerder gezegd, ik kan niet liegen,
en als het mij zo direct gevraagd wordt, moet
ik wel de waarheid spreken. Dus ik heb Karina
alles uitgelegd wat er aan de hand is. De
waarheid verklaarde ook voor Karina veel
dingen, zo zei ze, dat ze nu begrijpt waarom
“hij” haar altijd zo goed begreep en zo. Afin,
Toen hadden Karina en ik nog de discussie of
ze “hem” ermee moest confronteren. Uiteindelijk
had ze besloten dat toch te doen, omdat “hij”
toch nooit de waarheid zou zeggen. Tegen mij
had “hij” het toch ook alleen maar uit pure
noodzaak, toen het niet anders meer kon gedaan,
nietwaar? Afin… confrontatie dus…
En nu kreeg die gekke meid die Nikki speelde het
in haar hoofd mij een sms te sturen met dreigend
taalgebruik. En dat is iets van je bij mij nou juist
niet moet doen meid, dat is iets wat je niet had
moeten doen meid. Grote bek, dreigen, dat is de
uiting van zwakte, het teken dat je de controle
kwijt bent, de controle over mij, de controle over
je web van leugens, waar je nu in verstrikt dreigt
te raken. Laat mij en de rest van blaatschaap
voorlopig maar eens met rust. Zoek je een
goede psych, en stop het al die onzin.
Al is de leugen nog zo snel, de waarheid
achterhaalt haar wel. Eerlijkheid duurt het
langst.
So… now all the nonsense of the past months is
over, I suppose it’s time to start blogging about
normal stuff again. Like school stuff, etc.
So, I’m now a student in class T7. Math is an
optional subject. For the students now in T5
Math is a regular subject, but it was not when
I was in T5. Anyhow, I choose Math as one
of my optional subjects. So… Ralph, who did’t
pass his exams in T4, so he had to do T4 again
when I was in T5, now had the same class as I
did. That Math class. Pffff… I’m talking complicated.
Anyways… so since we had the same class,
and it was our first class today, so, we talked on
MSN yesterday, and we agreed to meet on the
train station in Eindhoven. So, when I was waiting
for him, I met Jaime. He also goes in the same class.
I’ve met him at school before. So stupid, I only found
out his name today. I mean… I liked this person, we’ve
talked sometimes before. I met him in the “blatterhok”.
The room where my class usually works on projects.
But he’s now in the T5 class. So… I met him today
at the train station. I told him I was waiting for Ralph.
So, then we decided to wait for him together, and when
Ralph also arrived, we walked together to the school, and
the class. And the teacher, she showed up late. Math class.
It was more like… the three of us just joking all the time,
and doing other stuff, no math. Jaime showed me some stuff
at his server. How he set it up to auto download some series
he’s watching, like Torchwood. He got a huge collection of
Anime and Science Fiction. *drools* I guess I should get me
another 500 GB external hard disk, and give it to him so he
can put his series on it. He also got a gameserver running.
I agrees on downloading Call of Duty 4, so we could play it
online sometimes. I also told him about my chatroom. I hope
he will show up sometimes. I guess… this is the first time I’ve
really talked to him. Just because, the coincidence made him
go in the same class as me. I guess… Ralph, Jaime and me.
I guess we’ve just going to be, like, just having fun in class.
Gehehe… the math wasn’t that hard anyways.
Anyways…. I got an email from a site, I have been looking
for the past months. http://myhappyplanet.com
It’s a site for learning eath other languages. I came across
this site like a while ago, but I forgot about the link. I’ve
been looking for it, but couldn’t find it anymore, till today.
A dream. That’s all it was. My previous posts.
Nikki. It was just a dream. Everything was fake.
Everything was a lie. There never was a person
with that name. Nikolái Skvortsov. He doesn’t
exsist. Everything “he” told about. All “his”
memories, all the people “he” told about,
they never exsisted. Everything was a lie.
In the end… it turned out “he” is a she.
And she is born here in the Netherlands,
not in Finland. My God, I feel so stupid,
all the things I’ve written als told about
Nikki. A person that was not even real.
I feel stupid for ever mentioning him.
But the dream is over now. Dreams are fake.
Welcome back to reality. Life goes on, and I
should go back going, what a geek like me is
supposed to do. Watch anime, write some code,
hang around on IRC, stuff like that. I might even
start gaming a bit. My God, I feel stupid!
