As you’ve noticed from my posts the past weeks,
I’ve been busy developing a new site.

I’ve almost, well… not almost, I’ve been working
on this like possessed. I’ve obsessive coding on this,
like starting even during breakfast.
It would have been wiser to spend my time on
studying, but I was obsessed with my project.

I knew this wasn’t a good this, obsessed like I
was, but for the moment, working on the
project, seeing the results, that’s something
that makes me feel good. But I know I would
have to ‘pay the prize’ later. I knew, when I
get into that obsessive coding stage for too
long, it would backfire on me. I knew it would
make me feel worse then before, I knew it
would make me feel even lonelier then before.

Loneliness is something that’s been haunting me
all my life. Well… maybe… since 2005. It’s not
that I wasn’t alone before 2005, but I’ve changed,
somewhen in 2005. Before 2005 it didn’t bother
me, but since 2005 it does. I hate this feeling.
Being lonely.

I feel like there are only few people I can relate
to. I only know a few people who, I think, feel and
think like me. People who I actually enjoy talking to.
People who I enjoy listening to. People who can
make me feel better, people who can take this
loneliness away for a while. Unfortunately, none
of these people lives near me. And I haven’t been
albe to talk to them in a while.

I wish I knew more people like that. I wish they
would live here in the same city as I do. I wish
I didn’t feel this lonely. I want to be happy.
Is that too much to ask?

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